Lord, you must think I'm strong, to give me what I'm going through. Well forgive me, forgive me if I'm wrong, but this looks like more than I can do. On my own. I know I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm suppose to be, I give up, I'm not strong enough. Hands of mercy won't you cover me Lord, right now I'm asking you to be strong enough, for the both of us. Well maybe, maybe that's the point, to reach the point of giving up. Cause when I'm finally, finally at rock bottom well, that's when I start looking up and reaching out. I know I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm suppose to be, I give up, I'm not strong enough. Hands of mercy won't you cover me Lord, right now I'm asking you to be strong enough, for the both of us.
Was any of this true that was in my head?.. No, God didn't want to punish me or hurt me. Things happen and in this life were going to be tested, and were going to have trials. I believe what happened to me was for many reasons. It brought me and my husband so much closer, we seen a side of each other that had never been shown before. I learned how God had no respect of person. It doesn't matter if you have been serving him for 50 years or if you haven't even met him and took him as your savior... he has no respect of person. He will bless them just as well as the saint. Imagine if he didn't, no one would ever come to him.
God let me know he was with me so many times and he has promised me that I will sing "Amazing Grace" to my little one some day. It may have been one of the sweetest things I ever heard from him. With that I must be strong enough and not give up. I have faith that he will bless me and my husband with a beautiful healthy baby one day and I will do my best to raise it up in a good God fearing home. Sometimes promises are all we have, and when God makes a promise there is no going back on it. He will do what he says. :)