Sunday, December 7, 2014


I'm still working on the birthday blog,
I've got it halfway wrote in my drafts and will be posted soon enough.
However as I sit here at almost 2 A.M. I just can't help but feel blessed.
I'll admit that I make mistakes daily,
especially as a mommy, and a newish one at that. He is only 16 months.
Seems like every night after I rock him to sleep,
I watch him slumber in my arms for a few and try and remember all that took place that day.
Honestly every night I feel like a failure.
I didn't spend enough time with him, I should have been more attentive to him,
the list goes on and on and daily I promise myself to do better.
Still yet, here I sit, feeling like a horrible mother.
Sure he was fed, he had his milk, his diapers were changed,
he even managed to get a quick scrub, but there was so much more I could have done
for him and with him today.
I wish there was more time. These days time is my worst enemy.
But as I sit and feel this mommy guilt I am reminded that I am blessed.
I am blessed to feel like a failure tonight.
I am blessed to have a good husband filling the house with his roaring snore.
I am blessed to have a healthy baby boy sleeping peacefully in his crib.
I am blessed.
I want to quit complaining.
quit wanting.
All I can have is the moment I live in now.
I can't take back how today went, there is no rewind.
The time I chose to check my instagram feed instead of build blocks with my son
has passed.
At the end of the day I can critique myself all I want,
I can constantly remind myself of my failures,
and I can say that tomorrow I will try and make it a little better.
Live in the moment, lets not take life for granted!
we are blessed. 

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